We got a little snow where I live.  It is a very little bit, but even that’s a big deal in my neck of the woods.  There isn’t enough to build a snowman or anything, but it’s pretty to look at.

Don’t be like that snow.  Have some substance.  Don’t be a pretty woman, with nothing else to offer besides your outer beauty.  Don’t get me wrong.  There is nothing wrong with taking care of your appearance.  In fact, you should.  Just don’t focus on the shell so much that you neglect to beautify the inside.

Always having your hair, nails, eyebrows, makeup, etc. done doesn’t make you any better than a woman who doesn’t do all that.  Some can’t afford to, whether it’s time or money that stands in the way.  Others(myself included) just don’t care that much.  I’d rather listen to music and read a good book than spend hours trying to look perfect.

If you want to look polished everyday, kudos to you.  But, don’t judge those who prefer a more natural, understated look.  Do what works for you.

More importantly, take some time to become a better person each and every day.  Work on breaking a bad habit.  Volunteer at a local shelter.  Learn a new language or instrument.  Draw or paint, even if you’re not great at it.  It’s fun!  Spend some quality time with your loved ones.  Pray, read your Bible, or meditate.  Remember, we were created to be more than just something pretty to look at.

To Florida with Love

Today’s blog post is dedicated to those killed in the Fort Lauderdale Airport shooting.  I won’t do a recap of what happened.  I’m sure you already know.  If not, you can watch the news or google it.  I don’t really know what to say.  Rest in peace to the victims who passed away.  Prayers to the others injured and the families of all involved.

This is a tragedy.  I cannot speak for anyone else, but I didn’t expect this to happen on the sixth day of 2017.  Not that it would have been any less tragic later on in the year.  There is evil all around us.  As cliche as it sounds, the world needs more love.  Tragedies like this have become so commonplace that they don’t even phase some people anymore.

That has to change.  Every time an innocent life is lost, we should care.  We should figure out something that we, as individuals and collectively, can do to make a change.  There will always be evil in our world.  We have to try our best to combat it with good.  Don’t let evil win.


Date for the Right Reasons

So, you’ve been out of the dating game for a while.  Maybe you are divorced, or got out of a rough dating relationship, ended an engagement.  You might take a few months, or even years before you decide to get back out there.  Here are a few reasons not to start dating:

  1. Your friends are trying to force you to get back out there.
  2. You want to make your ex jealous.
  3. You think dating will give you a self-esteem boost.
  4. You’re lonely.

Now, here are some reasons you should start dating again:

  1. You are ready to take another shot at love.
  2. You are over your last relationship, and truly ready to move on.
  3. You want to go on fun dates, with no pressure.

It’s important to wait until you are ready to date, not rush out there because well-meaning love ones think you’ve been alone too long.  After all, you are the one who will have to deal with the ups and downs of a new relationship.  Your friends and family can give advice, but ultimately you make the decision when to get back out there.

Dating should be an enjoyable experience.  Sure, there’s some stress involved.  Opening up to a new person can involve some anxiety.  That’s normal.  But, if you’re literally sweating and having panic attacks, maybe you’re not ready.

It’s ok to spend a little more time alone, going out on girls’ nights, and getting to know your beautiful, intelligent, powerful self all over again.  Each individual is a complete person.  We don’t need another person to complete or validate us.  Love yourself, or nobody else will.  That’s not exactly true, but a bunch of people have said it, and it kind of makes sense.

Instead, I like to say love yourself and you can love someone else better.  You won’t take out your frustrations, fears, insecurities, etc on them.  Don’t look for someone else to make you feel beautiful.  Look in the mirror everyday and see it.  YOU ARE GORGEOUS!!!

Move on from your past

Do you feel like your past is haunting you, and you can’t escape no matter what?  Maybe you haven’t completely let go of a failed relationship.  You’re still punishing yourself from mistakes you made in college, even though you’re in your thirties now.  Stop it!  Let it go!

We are human, and we all make mistakes.  The goal is to learn from those mistakes and not repeat the same ones over and over.  Whether you partied too hard, experimented with drugs, had a promiscuous streak, etc., holding on to pain and regret will get you nowhere.  It will just cause you to remain stagnant and live a life full of misery and self-defeat.

Don’t listen to other people, and do your best to stay away from those who want to keep you tied to your past forever.  If a person doesn’t want you to move on, more than likely it’s because they can’t move on.  Instead of joining their pity party, make it your mission to help that person join you in celebrating life and letting go of the past.

I am not condoning bad behavior.  I am simply rebuking the practice of ruminating and wallowing in self-pity, shame and regret.  If you can tell me something positive that comes out of crying about your mistakes and refusing to start over, please share that with me.  I know from experience that focusing on that negativity will rob you of your joy.  God wants us to have joy and peace.

Write down everything that is holding you back. Repent if you haven’t.  Share some advice with a younger person so they can learn from your mistakes without making the same ones.  Then…LET IT GO!  Forever.  If that thought tries to come back to haunt you, don’t entertain it.  You gave it to God, so you don’t have to hold on to it anymore.

Explore New Business Opportunities

As adults, we have to take care of business.  Whether you work a 9-to-5 or you’re self-employed, part of being a responsible adult is making money.  We’re not supposed to love money, but it’s definitely a necessity.

While you’re single and free, it’s a great time to explore new opportunities.  Hate your job?  Mean boss, rude co-workers?  Don’t feel like you have to stay in the same position forever.  Starting your own business is not easy, but it’s worth it.  It might be hard to figure out where to start.

First, focus on your passion.  What do you really enjoy doing?  What’s something constructive that you would do for little money if you were super rich and didn’t have to worry about money.  Are you a musician, writer, painter?  Maybe you’re a great salesperson.  Check out your local library’s website and see if they have any small business workshops or lectures coming up.  Talk to small business owners.  Read books and search online for new business opportunities.

You do have to be careful, because there are many scams online.  Don’t buy into the “get rich quick” schemes.  Really do your research, especially before you invest any of your hard-earned money.  Get out there and take some chances.  Don’t just sit around waiting for money to fall from the sky.  Use this time wisely.

Get/Stay Healthy!!!

Being healthy should be a lifestyle, not just a New Year’s resolution.  Sure, it’s ok to get back on the right track at the start of the year.  But, don’t slack off after a month.  Today, I started SELF Magazine’s New Year’s Challenge.  It consists of strength and cardio workouts.  I have to admit I practically gave up on working out the last couple months of 2016.  Now, it’s time to get it together!

All human beings should remember that our bodies are the Lord’s temple.  We need to treat them as such.  Everything in moderation.  Cut out smoking, excessive drinking, overeating, etc.  It’s also important for everyone to exercise, no matter what size you are.  I definitely need to lose a few dozen pounds, and I know I’m not alone.  But, slim ladies, we’re not leaving you out.  Thin does not always equal healthy.  We all need cardio to keep our hearts healthy.  We also want to do strength training to stay toned and maintain fitness as we get older.

Getting in shape SHOULD NOT be about getting or keeping a man.  That might be a bonus, but you should take care of your body for yourself.  If you lose weight or start a workout plan just for a man, what are you going to do if that relationship doesn’t work out?  Let yourself go?

It doesn’t matter what you’ve done in the past.  I’ve done it all.  Worked out while I was single, then gained “happy weight” during the relationship from too many dinner dates.  I’ve binged on junk food when the relationship got rocky or ended.  I’m human.  I’m not going to beat myself up about it.  But, I am going to do things differently.

I’ve been single since July 2016, and my diet choices have had nothing to do with a man.  I just have some really awful eating habits.  Now is the time to break them.  For consecration this year (January 3-February 5 for my church), I am giving up sodas.  The goal is not to pick them back up after consecration is over.  Sodas just aren’t good for you.  Those are one of my worst habits that I have held onto since I was a teen.

Remember, always consult a physician before starting a new workout routine.  I always read that on exercise videos, but I never do it.  Don’t be like me.  Happy New Year!!!  Let’s get it.

Know When to Let Go

For the past six months, I have been in a rocky, on-again, off-again relationship.  Sometimes I don’t even feel like it deserves the title of “relationship.” I keep saying I’m done, but somehow he weasels his way back into my life every time.  I’m not sure what it is about him that I can’t let go.  Maybe it’s not about him at all.  Maybe it’s my fear of being alone, the whispering lies of that little voice that tell me I will be single forever, so I might as well hold on to this one for as long as possible.

Don’t be like me.  When you realize your relationship is dysfunctional, and neither one of you are growing in it, move on.  let it go.  Do you.  Focus on other things.  Most importantly, get closer to God.  When you spend time with him, he will lead you down the right path.  He doesn’t want his children to be hurt and living in turmoil.  He will give us peace and make us content with being single.  We just have to talk to him and stop worrying about what people say.  Being single is not a curse.  It is actually a blessing, and being in a healthy relationship with the right person is a blessing too.  But, we’ll never get to that happy place if we keep holding on to something that should have been released long ago.  I’m hoping that writing this will help me find the strength to let go once and for all…